Monday, September 26, 2011
It's finally time to make the change!
I've been talking for years about losing weight. I just never got very serious about it. I've had it now! I'm tired of being tired and lethargic. I'm tired of not wanting to play with my kids because it's too hard. I'm tired of not being able to buy the cute clothes I really want because they don't fit or don't look good on me.
So to be honest with myself and with anyone who reads this blog, here is where I started from last Monday:
Weight: 210.2 lbs. Yikes!
(I'll get some pics and measurements up in the next couple of days)
Myl long-term goal is to lose 65 lbs and get down to the 145lbs range. My short-term goal is to be down in the 180s by January.
Last week I started the "Run Your Butt Off" program. It's a program to help non-runners like me work up to running a non-stop 30 minutes. I'm working on Stage 3 right now. I was able to skip Stage 1 because I could easily walk 30 minutes non-stop. Last week was 4/1 walk/jog intervals. I completed it 6 days in a row. I'll be taking Sundays off. One thing this program does that is different than most is that it encourages you when you are first starting to jog at the same speed you walk, just picking up your feet. It's made jogging feel so much easier. So this week is 4/2 walk/jog intervals. I didn't think I was really going to be able to do it without feeling like I was going to die. Nope. My legs burned, but I didn't get overly winded.
I also signed up over the weekend for a 5K run in February to benefit Pancreatic Cancer Action Network and support my brother in his battle with pancreatic cancer. So now I have a goal to work toward which will hopefully keep me moving. I also am doing Zumba at least a day or two a week. Hopefully that will increase, but the kids aren't always cooperative. I'm still contemplating joining the YMCA and maybe doing some personal training sessions to work on building my strength. And as soon as the weather cools off, I'll add some biking to my exercise routine also.
I'm gradually changing some of my eating habits, but I didn't want to change everything all at once and then not feel like I wanted or could keep it up. Once I have been exercising for 4 solid weeks, I'll really make an additional effort to change my eating. I am working on eating fewer snacks and when I do eat, eating healthier foods. I'm not going on any kind of diet because I want to make a lifestyle change that will continue after the weight is gone. I don't want something that would be impossible or improbable for me to maintain.
So wish me luck on my journey! And if you want to join me, I'd love to have the help and encouragement and promise to offer the same in return.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Fear
Weight has been a struggle for me my entire life. My mom says I was 26lbs at 6 months. I was always "solid". I was never thin. I don't ever remember a time when I felt like I wasn't bigger than the average girl. Until the 6th grade, I was one of the tallest kids in the school. Add to that being a solidly built girl and I felt a bit like an amazon freak.
When I was 14, my doctor tested to see if my thyroid was working properly. It was. I decided to give Weight Watchers a shot only to be told that a 2 pound gain was disappointing and that I should have done better than that. I stopped going. My already fragile self-esteem took a big hit.
I tried dieting here and there, but basically resigned myself to the fact that I was always going to be a big girl. In high school, I was around 165lbs and wore a size 14. I don't ever remember being smaller than a size 12 in my entire life. I know I was, but I just don't remember when.
Things got really bad in college. My freshman year, having access to all the bagels and cereal I wanted all day long, I gained the freshman 40. I peaked at 198lbs. I decided to try the campus health center and set up an appointment with the dietician there. I went for a few weeks, but ended up with serious knee pain that kept me from doing much more than just going to and from classes. The hike up the hill to the health center was more than I could swing at the time.
After college, I managed, through smaller portion sizes, to drop back down to 160lbs. I stayed within 10lbs of that until after I got married. I always thought I was fat, but looking back at my wedding pictures, I'd give anything to be that size again right now. I got pregnant almost immediately after getting married. I started at about 180lbs. My OB didn't tell me until I had gained 17lbs in one month that I had to watch my carb intake because during pregnancy, your body can sometimes mimic diabetes. I never tested positive for gestational diabetes, but I did gain 55lbs. I was only able to get about 30lbs of that off. My second pregnancy, I gained about 30lbs. I was fortunate in that it was all gone by the time my 6 week post-partum checkup came around. I managed to get down to 188lbs. Only to put most of it back on again by the time I got pregnant this last time, my third pregnancy. I gained 45lbs. My weight didn't come off very slowly. I had severe post-partum edema that took a few weeks to go away.
I'm 34 years old and currently weigh about 214lbs. At 5'8", my BMI is just over 32 and I'm considered obese. After having found out recently that my brother has pancreatic cancer at 40 years old, I realize that I need to get healthy for my sake as well as the sake of my family. I want my family to be the type that goes out hiking or biking on the weekends, spending more time outside than in. That's not what it's like right now. We all spend way too much time on our behinds watching TV or playing on the computer.
So what's stopping me? I have decided it's fear. Of what? Failure. To be honest, my family isn't the most supportive. My mom is constantly criticizing me and competing with me when there is nothing to compete over. My grandma is the same way. My husband wants to be supportive, but has a huge sweet tooth and is constantly bringing home candy. I can walk past it in the store, but if it's in my house, I'll eat it. I'm afraid that if I try, I won't be able to do it and will prove the negative voice in my head right. It's constantly telling me that I can't do it. It's too hard. I don't have the time to exercise the way I should. My kids require too much of my time. I can put together a plan, but my follow through stinks.
So hopefully, I can use the blog to not only motivate you, but to motivate myself, also. My goal is to be brutally honest with myself. To face those things that keep me from succeeding and push through them. To get outside of my comfort zone.
Come along for the ride! I hope it's going to be a good one.
When I was 14, my doctor tested to see if my thyroid was working properly. It was. I decided to give Weight Watchers a shot only to be told that a 2 pound gain was disappointing and that I should have done better than that. I stopped going. My already fragile self-esteem took a big hit.
I tried dieting here and there, but basically resigned myself to the fact that I was always going to be a big girl. In high school, I was around 165lbs and wore a size 14. I don't ever remember being smaller than a size 12 in my entire life. I know I was, but I just don't remember when.
Things got really bad in college. My freshman year, having access to all the bagels and cereal I wanted all day long, I gained the freshman 40. I peaked at 198lbs. I decided to try the campus health center and set up an appointment with the dietician there. I went for a few weeks, but ended up with serious knee pain that kept me from doing much more than just going to and from classes. The hike up the hill to the health center was more than I could swing at the time.
After college, I managed, through smaller portion sizes, to drop back down to 160lbs. I stayed within 10lbs of that until after I got married. I always thought I was fat, but looking back at my wedding pictures, I'd give anything to be that size again right now. I got pregnant almost immediately after getting married. I started at about 180lbs. My OB didn't tell me until I had gained 17lbs in one month that I had to watch my carb intake because during pregnancy, your body can sometimes mimic diabetes. I never tested positive for gestational diabetes, but I did gain 55lbs. I was only able to get about 30lbs of that off. My second pregnancy, I gained about 30lbs. I was fortunate in that it was all gone by the time my 6 week post-partum checkup came around. I managed to get down to 188lbs. Only to put most of it back on again by the time I got pregnant this last time, my third pregnancy. I gained 45lbs. My weight didn't come off very slowly. I had severe post-partum edema that took a few weeks to go away.
I'm 34 years old and currently weigh about 214lbs. At 5'8", my BMI is just over 32 and I'm considered obese. After having found out recently that my brother has pancreatic cancer at 40 years old, I realize that I need to get healthy for my sake as well as the sake of my family. I want my family to be the type that goes out hiking or biking on the weekends, spending more time outside than in. That's not what it's like right now. We all spend way too much time on our behinds watching TV or playing on the computer.
So what's stopping me? I have decided it's fear. Of what? Failure. To be honest, my family isn't the most supportive. My mom is constantly criticizing me and competing with me when there is nothing to compete over. My grandma is the same way. My husband wants to be supportive, but has a huge sweet tooth and is constantly bringing home candy. I can walk past it in the store, but if it's in my house, I'll eat it. I'm afraid that if I try, I won't be able to do it and will prove the negative voice in my head right. It's constantly telling me that I can't do it. It's too hard. I don't have the time to exercise the way I should. My kids require too much of my time. I can put together a plan, but my follow through stinks.
So hopefully, I can use the blog to not only motivate you, but to motivate myself, also. My goal is to be brutally honest with myself. To face those things that keep me from succeeding and push through them. To get outside of my comfort zone.
Come along for the ride! I hope it's going to be a good one.
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